Okay, thanks to a good friend’s do-gooder-soapy-clean-PG summer bucket list, I was inspired to make my own (cough, cough) Rated R (for Rarely gets to happen when you’re an adult) summer list. I will be living vicariously through you this summer. Make me proud!
- Read Grey (yes, the dirty one by E.L. James)
- Make pudding shots (now there’s a pinterest project I like!)
- Roadtrip! Go to KC to shop at the outlets. Go to Carhenge in NE. Go take selfies under the spider in Avoca. Lol.
- Watch Magic Mike to prep for Magic Mike 2 (oh, you gotta love a no-shirt sequel!)
- Drink one of the new added-citrus beers
- Have a late-night water gun shoot-out with friends
- Drop your kids off to sleep in your old bed at your mom and dad’s (woo-hoo!)
- Sit in your lawn chair in your back yard 5 days in a row
- Grill brats (no, not your bratty children, the processed meat kind – and get the Tiefenthaler ones from Iowa – To. Die. For.)
- Do the Taco Ride or if you’re not local, find a beer tent. Stat.
- Break out the little white tank-top. (Guys, not so much.)
- Re-enact some scene/part from Saved by the Bell when they summered at the beach. (You know you know some!)
- Read a magazine from the large pile collecting dust on your end table.
- Have banana splits – the banana makes them completely healthy!
- Take the back-roads – roll down your windows with your air on and sing with the radio. (Fishin’ in the Dark, baby!)
- Car-dance with the sun roof open (get those truckers honkin’)
- Play bocce ball or croquet – in the dark or drunk. Take your pick.
- Go to Shakespeare on the Green or one of those outdoor concert series shows
- Buy new flip-flops.
- Go to a county fair (preferably the East Pottawattamie County Fair in Avoca – we’d love to see you)
- Float down the river or paddleboat around a lake.
- Take selfies in a floppy hat or cool sunglasses.
- Host a BBQ – make sure you have plenty of wieners!
- Text your friends “wish you were here” pics of you drinking, laying out, or taking a nap! (who wouldn’t be jealous of that????)
- Have a lemonade with a friend you haven’t seen in at least a few months
- Invite the neighbors over, whether you like ‘em or not.
- Go to a parade. (Figured I’d give you an easy one you can knock out this week!)
- Buy sun tan lotion, bug spray, and Cool Whip. (Happy Summer!)
Got any to add? Let’s hear ‘em. Got a comment about one of my ideas, go ahead. Or even better, tell me how many of these you’ve done this summer!
You know how they name that guy Flounder on Animal House? I’m identifying all too well with him.
Oh, Monday, you’re an evil sort! Oh, how we hate to see you coming, but rule #1, friends make everything better. And girls, as you well know, you can’t go to the bathroom alone! You gotta love it when things are set up for you that way. lol.
So how do you make your Monday better? Well, they can’t fault you for having to take a little toilet break. No matter that it might be an hour long or there might be more giggling than peeing.
And if you dare to venture in alone, are you a creature of habit? Do you use the same one every time? Or do you check your options and decide based on tissue or toilet cleanliness? Hey, those are the real ponderings of a Monday morning.
So Happy Monday! May it be a little unique, a little fun, a little bit funny, and worthy of a texted toilet photo.
So it’s that time of year where the winter doldrums haven’t quite faded even though it’s supposed to be spring. (You hear that, weather gods!!! S-P-R-I-N-G. SPRING! Bring it!) Here we are in the thick of being tired of winter and in dire need of a vacation (or at the very least a little grilling to avoid a few extra dishes).
I will be the first to admit that I sometimes struggle with depression, especially when I’m past ready for umbrella drinks in the sun! I always hate this time of year because inevitably this is the time of year where everyone is officially sick of everyone else. I swear it’s Lord of the Flies out there right now. It’s every man for himself. It’s that time of year where we go after other people in our state of anger instead of dealing with our own shit or just being silently jealous. We roll our eyes at the mother who’s 4 children are stealing candy at Walmart. We bite someone’s head off if they offer us chocolate because why did they not realize we were on a diet? We hate on our co-worker because she got roses. Um, yeah.
This is the time of year where others are rocking back and forth in catatonic states with their childhood teddy bear. For me, this is the time I start to lay low or remind myself that at least my husband loves me. I truly think this is a really tough time of year. I hate when people turn on one another. And believe me, I know I am guilty of the same. I catch myself doing it and shame myself into trying to correct the problem. As they say in AA, the first step is realizing you have a problem. And when I do, I start fixing my mess. Here’s how I do it:
*Amazingly enough, I don’t recommend excessive drinking, just so you know. I do recommend yelling at the TV and cursing your Ohio State-ruined brackets instead. Better the TV than some person who can hold it against you forever.
*Go outside. Even if you have to grill in your parka or walk in your Carhaarts. You gotta do what you gotta do. There’s vitamins in that there sun even if it’s 30 degrees.
*Make vacation plans or fun-outing dates. You need something to look forward to. A baseball game in May, hotel reservations for your cousin’s wedding in June, a girls’ weekend to go shopping at the outlets, or a roadtrip to fish in Minnesota. Just put something on the calendar that doesn’t involve work or your kids’ practice schedule.
*Check out some new music – fun, let’s-get-to-summer music. I suggest Rum by the Brothers Osborne. It’s a good place to start.
*Then, start making the world around you happier. Make chocolate chip cookies with your kids. Send a care package to your best friend. Take flowers to your elderly neighbor. Go to church with your mother. I know I say this all the time, but the best way to feel better about yourself is to change someone else’s day. Nothing makes me feel better when I’m hating the world than the world smiling back at me because I gave ‘em a donut.
Listen, I know how easy it is to bitch when the cards are stacked against you, and I’m not saying you shouldn’t bitch. I’m just saying to be selective with whom you bitch to, and I’m saying that it’s better to be thankful than miserable. There was a time in my life when I had a hard time remembering that, and I don’t ever want that for me or you again.
So when you get done lamenting, pick up your sad sack of a self and put some goodness (in the form of Reese’s peanut butter cups, Dairy Queen blizzards, Redd’s Ale, or your best crocheted doily) out into the world.
You’ll never regret it.
I never do…
Listen, I know nobody wants to think about snow on the first day of spring, but the 30’s are near again, and I sure do like a man that knows his place…in the driveway and in the grocery store!