I’ll say it. What happened in Connecticut scares the crap out of me, and it probably did you, too. No, I’m not a parent, although I parent every day as a teacher and if you asked me to raise your child, I would. Normally, I refrain from commenting about anything in teaching so I don’t get fired, but today, well, today I have something to say.
If we don’t want our kids to grow up worrying someone will kill them or be the one that kills others, please consider these things:
Please spend time with your kids. I know you have to work tons to pay for them, but if you quit trying to buy them Jordans and make them do chores to earn a couple of bucks, they will learn the value of a dollar and be proud when they pay their own way through college. Yes, I speak from experience and yes, I thought it sucked as a kid, but I can assure you I’ve killed no one, and I give my parents endless credit for making me who I am.
Secondly, please expect things of your children. Expect them to learn their times tables, to do chores around the house, to open doors for the elderly, and say please and thank you. If they don’t, don’t give them privileges like movies, skating, or their phones. You can even take things away like their favorite TV show, their xbox, or their favorite hoodie if you have to. Don’t give in because it’s easier for you, and don’t send them to their room if it holds a phone, a TV, an Xbox, a DVR, and a computer. That’s not punishment. That’s a reward and a chance to avoid communication with adults from whom they should be gaining knowledge and common sense.
Oh, and please don’t give in to your children because you want them to like you. They are not supposed to be your friend. They are your kid. You are supposed to be their parent. Sometimes, they won’t like you. That means you’re doing your job correctly, but if you kiss them goodnight or say you love them every day, they’ll get the message that you love them but you are one who makes the rules, not them. No kid should be deciding what the family eats, watches on TV, or spends the family money on unless it’s their freaking birthday and you allowed it.
Finally, you have the toughest job in the world. You have to raise a decent human being in a world that is not so decent. It is not a simple task, but if you do not want to be the one grieving or apologizing, it is your time to stand up and put kids first. If you don’t know how to do that, ask me or ask someone whose children seem to have it together. If you’re doing all these things already and are just sick to your stomach at the world your kids are seeing, then pass this on and hug your kids one more time tonight.
My prayers to all those who have to deal with situations such as this and for those that can help avoid more.