150… that’s 150 items at the dollar store (sans tax) 150…is too many cats even for a crazy cat lady. And 150 is a little more than 6 cases of beer…which come to think of it, really doesn’t sound like that much, but it is. As this is my 150th blog post, I felt the need to make it special so I’ve channeled my inner Brad Paisley (lol) to bring you this letter to us as mere youth (which of course was not that long ago!!!):
Dear Us (pre-1990 or so),
First off, here’s a big FYI: big bang hair and mullets are a HUGE negatory good buddy!
Shockingly enough, the Michaels are a do – that Thriller album you bought was definitely worth it and you shoulda kept your original Jordans. Remember the word “vintage.”
And that cartoon, “The Jetsons,” yeah, that’s pretty much gonna be your reality. Embrace technology, those computers, that thing called the internet, and maxi-zume-dweebie geeks that know how to use it and want to teach it to you. Someday, you’re going to really like your dear friends Siri and Google, well, maybe not Siri so much. She doesn’t always “get” you.
Sadly, you’re also going to find out water is a necessity. In fact, you’ll even pay money to drink it from bottles even though you’re not above drinking from a hose in somebody’s back yard.
Sure, right now, you are waiting to drive or graduate or get married to the absolute perfect guy/girl and get the hell out of town. When you get old, it doesn’t change much. You still want to be married to the perfect person and you are always wanting to get the hell outta dodge! Say it with me: vacation, vacation, vacation!
Yeah, you might not want to follow that bf or gf to college, or to New York City, or to the trailer park.
But hopefully, you like yourself at least a little. You probably don’t though. You probably even think you’re fat. I bet money what your “fat” is now is way thinner than you ever will be again. I also hate to tell you that you’re still gonna have zits, faults, and like yourself better when you are tan in pictures, but you will be much happier than you were at 14. Basically, you worried for nothing. You can be ugly and a total bitch or an arrogant drunken douchebag, but if you know how to wear it with confidence, people will bow down to you and you can live your life with an air of entitlement. Or not… which is how we all would prefer it, but do what you have to do.
Actually, you know all that time you spend deciding on the right clothes, shaving, doing your hair, and talking on the phone? Yeah, all that will be out the door in a few years. You’ll be too busy with work or kids to care about the miniscule details and talking on the phone will be completely passé which is a word you will actually be able to use in conversation instead of like and dude every five seconds.
There’s also this word priorities and I hope you have them, and I hope they center around something or someone other than yourself. If you can do that, you probably won’t screw up your life. (but that remains to be seen)
In the real world, character counts more than looks. Mom was right about that, and the fact that if they don’t appreciate you for who you are then you don’t need ‘em because you don’t… unless it’s to wave at when you drive up in your well-earned sports car at the class reunion…or maybe you won’t because you’re just not pretentious and you know a car does not make a man. Nor does money, a big house, an impressive career, or tickets to every big game, but it’s okay if you have those, too. Just don’t forget the people that stuck by you.
By the way, that boy/girl that treats you like shit – yeah, he/she likes you but is too messed up to just say it. You’ll realize you don’t want that kind.
As for other important advice, everything is bad for you depending on who you ask. Just don’t ask.
Oh, and moisturize. It’s important, like loving your family despite their flaws, finding a career, not just a job, and living alone before you get married. Living alone makes you appreciate your spouse a lot more when you find them. And you will… possibly later than you expected, but you will. Keep saying those prayers to God.
Finally, just do what makes you happy, but won’t bring grandma and grandpa embarrassment. If you can do that, you’re ahead of the game.
And never be afraid to go home again if that’s where you belong.
Love,
Me
P.S. – Boones Farm strawberry hill will always be cool. (lol) Join the http://www.boonesfarm.net Nostalgia is always a good thing.
P.S.S. – Thank you to all of you who read my posts, who share my posts, and who say nice things about my blogs. Writers need readers. Thank you for being my backers and for putting my words out into the world.
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So what did I forget? I’m sure you have something perfect you can add. Or do you want to write your own “letter to me?” You can, and you can read more awesome letters at www.dearme.org.
Bolton Carley's BS-O-Rama 