Humorous thoughts on adulthood – thank goodness for chocolate, drinks, friends, and duck tape!

Tag Archives: advice

I can’t believe it, but we have yet another niece graduating (and a nephew graduating from college but he’s not the sentimental type)!  And graduation always makes me reflective and feel the need to impart my wisdom.  Okay, my wisdom hasn’t gotten me a national TV show or a Pulitzer, but it also hasn’t landed me in jail or on a hit list (at least, none I’m aware of)!  So here are a few tidbits I hope our niece comes to learn and maybe you can share these with some kid in your family that listens better to somebody they don’t know! lol. Or maybe you just need your own little reminder:

Ba-bye, bitches!

First off, say farewell to your frenemies. Do it nicely. High school (and the business world and the PTA and the bar) is all about the people you like on any given day, hate on any given day, are jealous of on any given day, and can’t wait to get rid of on any given day. Today, you get to get rid of them. Do so gracefully. Wish them well. Cry over what was and what will be in all its scary glory, and then keep your mouth shut. You don’t have to burn a bridge, you can just choose not take that route anymore.

Old Money is still the best Money

Secondly, remember where you came from. Be loyal. Friends and family are just like clothing. The new is exciting and fun and always nice to have for special occasions, but the old stand-by pajama pants and prom t-shirt from 10 years ago will be comfy and reliable and what you need on a bad day. Same with the people you surround yourself with. It’s okay to have new people in your life, but don’t ditch the old. Dance with the one you came with. They brought you here.

Don’t be a Hater!

Third, the world may be screwed up, but you don’t have to be. I really like that Mother Theresa quote about how the world may hate or do wrong, do good anyway. There are plenty of screwed up people, situations, and moments in life. Rise above.

Better to change your mind than to not use it!

Fourth, it’s okay to change your mind. Not 500,047 times, but when you need to, go ahead. If the major isn’t right, switch it. If the friends aren’t the right circle, ditch ‘em. If the job is somewhere else, try it. We all have a plan. Sometimes, we stay on that path. Sometimes, we take the road less traveled and that makes all the difference… (Yes, Robert Frost, you were right.)

Humble and Kind, just like Tim McGraw says. Please!

Fifth, be humble. Never think you’re better than. There are those that have a lot to put on their résumé and there are those that could but don’t have to. There will always be people telling you how great they are and there will always be people that are just great. Be the great. Don’t think you’re owed anything. Hope floats when you realize your cup runneth over. (Yes, love that movie!)

It all comes out in the wash…

Here’s the bottom line: there will be crappy times when people die, your basement floods, your kid gets sick, and you want to crawl into bed and sleep it off. There will be times when you sit with a drink in your hand, look up at the blue sky, look around you at the group of people talking and laughing with you, and you’ll soak it in. Life isn’t easy, but it is doable.

Live well.
Do good.
Take God with you.
Build the right relationships.
Find your little piece of happiness and live in it.
Laugh when the wheels fall off. Then, put ‘em back on and bolt those sonofabitches down and take a roadtrip.
Happy Graduation, little girl! May life always treat you kind…



Any words of wisdom you’d like to share?  Any of those ring true with you?  Got a graduation you’d like me to speak at? lol.  Tell me.


good men do

good men do


Listen, I know nobody wants to think about snow on the first day of spring, but the 30’s are near again, and I sure do like a man that knows his place…in the driveway and in the grocery store! 🙂

greeting card guilt

greeting card guilt

Have you ever had that epiphany where you realized you’re not as good as you used to be?  I find it happening to me a lot lately.  There’s lots of things:  golfing, swimming, sending greeting cards, taking care of people…  The list is so long I’m starting to wonder what the Hell I CAN still do well.. Well, besides post on Twitter and Facebook.  Ug.  How embarrassing is that?  Oh, sorry, I didn’t mail you a card or take you up on that round of golf, but no worries, I managed to read everyone’s posts on Facebook this week.  Woo-hoo!  Congratulations, me!

Okay, so if someone was drowning, the swimming would come back to me.  And in the real world as a non-businesswoman, I probably really don’t need to know how to golf that badly.  If anybody asks me to go, they probably really only want me to go for drinking purposes or to suck worse than they do anyway, so oh well.  But the greeting cards issue is where I feel kinda crappy, when did I quit making an effort to get cards sent for special occasions?  Sure, the internet makes it easier to send those well-wishes, but it seems like a lazy man’s way.  Then again, it’s cheaper.  It’s faster, and it doesn’t involve the postal system, so really it’s probably just the smart man’s way, but I still feel guilty.  I used to make that extra effort.  You know what I mean?

I’m sure some people would say that they’ve just gotten too busy for it (and they probably have with kids, longer work hours, etc), but what’s my excuse?  I got married?  Well, okay, he does take up a lot of my time. Lol. I guess it could be because I’m trying to have that whole second career as a writer and photographer thing?  Oh, yeah, maybe.  Is it that I’m just out of practice?  Or honestly, is it just a pure laziness and failure on my part to get the job done?  I’m leaning towards that.  So do I beat myself up for it or do I let it go?  Do you ever have that argument with yourself?  I seem to have it a lot.


I’d like to say I’m going to rectify the situation ASAP.  Unfortunately, I know myself well enough to know that I’m going to continue to be a sloth because it’s just easier to send a quick email or text.  Should I be giving up Facebook for Lent?  Probably.  Will I?  No (but I’m not Catholic so I get a “get out of jail free” card on that, right?).  Will you be heart-broken I didn’t get the Hallmark sent to ya?  I sure hope not.  I hate disappointing people, but if your dog dies or your mother-in-law comes to stay with you for 2 weeks, I promise to still make the effort to bring you alcoholic beverages.  And that’s the best advice I can give you:  you can’t always go back, but you can at least decide the minimum you can live with and go with it.

So my card stash is bound to get dusty, but the cooler is full and ready.  Let me know when you need it.


Anything you’ve quit doing lately?  Anything you struggle to get accomplished that gives you guilt?  Or is there anything you’re proud of not giving up on?  I wanna hear it.  Put it in the comments.

brief rule 139


Hey, I’m a firm believer that the most well-liked people are those that remember to say “thank you.”  And we all have reasons to say a piece of thanks like when someone else loads the dishwasher, or they bring you chicken noodle soup when you’re sick, or tells prospective dates that your ex-boyfriend has mommy issues.  Always say thank you. 🙂



Listen, we’ve all been there.  We’ve all accidentally left something in our car, but whether it’s 40 below or 105 degrees, it’s best not to get out empty-handed.  Tears are a given, and there will be a scent at the very least and a police car at the worst. lol.



This really doesn’t need any explanation – cottage cheese, foul-armpitted-t-shirts, or moldy Chinese, whatever you do, don’t suggest it to your spouse.  The voice of experience can tell you they will NEVER let you live it down…