Decision, decisions, decisions. Oh, how I hate to make them! Are you that way, too? I don’t mind the “where-are-we-eating-tonight” kind. Those are easy (and the answer is Johnny’s Café), but I hate the big ones like deciding to get married or moving to a 3rd world country to make two million dollars. I’m talking those kind. Lol.
Recently, I made the decision to leave my job after having been in that same building for 20 years. And yes, I am a habitual ready-for-a-vacation kind of girl so it probably seems that I am more than ready to ditch my job (which if you looked at the same snot on the bathroom stall you might want to, too). The truth of the matter is that it’s really hard to leave. Not because of the snot (lol), but partly because of the people I’ve met along the way and partly because I don’t want to be a statistic of another teacher leaving teaching and partly because I hope I’ve made a difference in the world somewhere along the way. So why am I leaving? A lot of reasons, but they start with my little girl.
Last spring, we debated about buying a house in our hometown. Finally, we decided to put a bid in. There ended up being 3 other bids. I said I was leaving it in God’s hands. If we got it, it was meant to be. If we didn’t, there was time for something else. We got the house.
It was about that time that I started hearing that Zac Brown song on the radio. Clearly, it was meant to be. And every time I seem to be having doubts over whether it’s time to go home or not, it finds its way to my radio.
(Thanks Vevo, Zac Brown Band and YouTube)
So when it came time to decide whether to stick it out in teaching or move on, I stressed out again. Could I drive from there? Yes. I probably would have a quicker commute than some of the people who live in West O going through 3000 stoplights. Believe me, I squandered an entire summer overthinking, worrying, and contemplating what to do. It was the day that I realized that I would have to drive 12 more years and that, in that time, my little girl would go from a toddler to a teenager. Not only that, but there will be bagels with mom breakfasts and Read Across America book-a-thons to see and I want to see them! But I wouldn’t if I was driving because I would believe that work had to come first, even when I didn’t feel that way. So what was the solution? Get out.
What’s next? I don’t know. I wanna be creative. I wanna be respected for what I do. I wanna help Mrs. Strickland get Oakland back to good, too. But here’s what I do know: About a year and half ago, I saw this Steve Harvey video, and it spoke to me. (I might be watching this at 2 in the morning next August with tears and a carton of How I Love Thee Reese Peanut Butter Cup ice cream panicking, but…)
(Thanks to Steve Harvey and YouTube for the clip!)
I’m not a gutsy person. I like my safe and secure world, but I do think I was put on this earth for a reason and I want to make damn sure I figure out what my gift is. So… I’m “jumping.” Ready…or not (mostly or not) here I come.
Have you been in my place? Any advice? What’s your talent or calling? Any success stories to tell me? Feelings about the videos or just a comment? Let me hear ’em.