no calorie ice cream

no calorie ice cream

Being sick sucks!  There’s just no other way to say it, and after spending the last week feeling like a pack mule hauling the Kardashian clan uphill in the Grand Canyon with their entire wardrobes, I can assure you I have had my fill of feeling like a belabored, wheezing pile.  Have you had it, too?  I swear this has been the year for it.  Everybody, even the really healthy, annoying people have gone down because of it. lol.  But honestly, nobody should have to have it.  It’s just awful.  And it also occurred to me that when I feel like shitola, I can’t really think of anything else, but it brought me to some brilliant revelations.

The not-so-pleasantries

*You know you’re sick when…

…You’re sure you could make the sound effects for Ferris coughing up a lung.

…You start hoarding Puffs like your grandmother – in your sleeves, in your bra, under the pillow

on the couch.

…The thought of your toilet being close by gives you more contentment than having

your spouse nearby.

…Your snot cements your nose to the pillow case and you’re too exhausted to change the

pillowcase, figuring there’s more where that came from.

And you know you’re sick when you are drinking 7up…straight up…alone…sans alcohol.

Okay, I could probably go on and on about these horrible truths, but I’ve realized there’s an upside to being sick and should I ever be well again, I’m pretty sure I’ll try to focus on these things (at least for a few days).

Being sick reminds you…

…not to take breathing for granted.  It’s amazing to me how I can forget the benefits of

using one’s nose to collect air.

…that you need to be thankful for those super spectacular people around you that take

care of even when you look like death warmed over, haven’t showered in eons,

have the breath of a water treatment plant, and take the risk of being infected by your

nastiness.

…there are people who are fighting far worse than colds/flu.  Be sure to send them

love when you are able.

…why you have a medicine chest and a really comfy couch.

And finally, being sick is a good reminder that ice cream eaten in the fit of illness has no calories and should be eaten liberally.

So there you have it.  I really hope you don’t get whatever I’ve got or anything else for that matter.  Instead, I prefer you learn the lessons upon the page and take my word for it. Then go breathe some fresh air through your nose for me.

***

Got some others that should be added to my pros and cons list?  Tell me.  Have a cure-all?  I’m listening.  Know somebody who will identify with this right about now?  Be sure to share it with ‘em.

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