elf grandmas

We need a Santa on the Mantle.  Say what?  Well, they have the Elf on the Shelf for little kids, right?  I’m simply proposing that we need a Santa on the Mantle for adults.  (Please note having a mantle’s not necessary to participate.)  You laugh.  Well, maybe you laughed or maybe you cringed as you realized that damn elf hasn’t moved himself yet for tomorrow! Lol.   But seriously, when I was a little kid acting bad or whiny, my dad would start singing, “You better watch out…You better not cry…” which of course led me straight to tears but definitely got the point across.  Guess that was my dad’s precursor to Elf on a Shelf. Lol.   (Perhaps I should also be concerned that I somehow ended up with the elves from my grandma’s house that give me her same critical eye when I walk by…”

My point is that maybe we need a little something for the adults.  No, I don’t mean the adults need more to do or more crap to move around or more to take pictures of and post on Facebook.  I mean, what if the Santa on the Mantle hung out there and would wave a white flag or call a penalty or shoot nerf arrows at you when you need a quick reminder over the holiday season?

I don’t know about you, but I may, or may not, get a little fussy, difficult, or particular over the holidays.  (It’s all hearsay.  I can’t fathom how that could possibly be the case. Lol.)

So what if you’re spazzing out about your to-do list? Santa on the Mantle could speak up and say, “Time for a drink.  The holidays are supposed to be fun and relaxing.”  Now, I’m not going to lie.  I might have to take a hammer to the little creep if he said that too many times, but a gentle reminder here and there about getting perspective or watching a Hallmark movie probably wouldn’t hurt me any.  Maybe for some people he could just repeat “Do unto others.” (like when dealing with their own families – hint, hint, cough, cough).  Of course, I’d probably like him even better if he said, “Have some chocolate.  It’s the holidays after all!”

The bottom line is that we’re all battling a to-do list.  Some do so better than others, but sometimes all it takes is a talking Santa to get us back on track, or maybe a little side-tracked as the case may be.  And what better excuse is there to leave the sugar cookie disaster all over the kitchen counters and pass out after too many spiked eggnogs under the tree?

To that a toast:  Shappy Sholidays, Sheverybody!


So who’s up for a Santa on the Mantle?  Got something better?  Have a good story to tell me about your Elf on the Shelf?  Ready and waiting for all your commentary!