Okay, Midwestern girls, represent! I don’t know about you, but I’ve read a million e-comments and posts and emails about Southern belles and California girls (and in no way are they chopped liver, but…). But what the world needs to recognize is that Midwestern girls are the shit, and by “the shit” I mean the cool kids you wanna hang out with and borrow their shoes to walk in (especially if you’re drinkin’ in the pasture after dark)!
So back me up. And give it up for Midwestern girls (and I do use that term loosely)!
Midwestern girls know how to mow yards and scoop snow.
We deal with every season: planting, harvesting, blizzard, tornado, flood, dandelion, sauna, hunting, and Dairy Queen (April to October, baby!).
The weather is not always our friend. In fact, the weather in the Midwest is a little like the world of Michael Jackson – some days you’re impressed, some days you’re creeped out and scared, some days you enjoy it fully, and some days you don’t know what the hell is going on.
On the other hand, the weather forces us to layer. We can make our spaghetti-strapped dress look good with moon boots. It’s what we do.
We understand that high heels in an ice storm are not appropriate, nor are they appropriate at a football game or in a cattle barn.
Midwestern girls are realistic.
Not only do we deal with weather, but we also understand work ethic.
Yes, we really do mow our lawn, shovel our driveways, and change our own flat. If we don’t, it’s not because we don’t know how, it’s because we simply have better things to do.
Ladies here work their jobs, put in overtime, fix a meal, put the kids to bed, clean the house, and still take a minute to watch TV. Superhuman? Yes. But it’s what our mothers taught us to do, and we aren’t about to let anybody down. We are Midwestern nice.
In fact, we’re the kind of females that will talk to you in the grocery store, make you some oreo chocolate fluff if your dog dies, or take your momma home if she needs a ride.
Then again, we aren’t afraid to tell you to stick in your pie-hole if that’s what you deserve instead.
Let’s just say we’re Midwestern nice…unless you piss us off.
We have been finely educated. We didn’t “seen something” and we “isn’t stupid.” We can properly say whatever needs to be said, and if it needs to be said with cuss words, we’re all over it. Some may say cussing shows a lack of vocabulary, but here in the Midwest, it just says you were raised to voice your emotions. We’ve all sworn at an East Coast driver, a broken down tractor, or a deer in the road. It’s called vocalizing your feelings. We have them, and we don’t hide them unless it’s in our best interest.
You know what else we do? We eat.
Yes, that’s right. We will not walk into a frou-frou, expensive place that serves us a wedge of cabbage and a salmon slider and consider ourselves full. Um, no.
Midwestern girls understand the importance of Dairy Queen.
However, that’ not to say we don’t love a good burger, pizza, salad, order of fries or cheese curds, steak, or a plate of pasta and hopefully, we’ll score a to-go box of it, too! We like food. We eat it. We don’t just sniff and walk away.
Midwestern girls have been to a state fair, we have dared to eat fried foods there.
In fact, we all understand that nothing beats a Jell-O salad with some fresh strawberries we grew and marshmallows because that’s what our grandmas taught us to make.
Yes, we do know how to cook, and (yes, I said AND) some of us even know how to grill. It’s considered a sport here in the Midwest along with fishing, hunting, tanking, and golfing (as long as you have a cart to carry the cooler of beer).
Midwestern girls definitely know what a street dance is, and we are all about a good beer tent.
We go to outdoor concerts.
We love a good pair of blue jeans, are willing to have beers with the boys, and know that a smart woman carries a koozie in her pocket.
Midwestern girls have driven on a gravel road, and we probably even know how to maneuver a stick shift.
We’ve seen many a cornfield.
We’ve jumped in a lake.
We’ve pumped our own gas, held animals in our arms, and waved at our neighbors driving by.
We’ve more than likely sat in lawn chairs in somebody’s driveway, and we’ve road-tripped to get a tattoo or go to a parade.
A Midwestern girl may not be the thinnest girl, the quietest, or the most pristine, but you can bet we’re fun to have around. Life is never going to be dull around us, and if you’re real lucky, you have one around to call your friend or your spouse. And if you don’t, better stick with me a little more often. I know all the good ones…
Got something else that makes us Midwestern girls special? Tell me!
Not a Midwesterner but love something about us? Start talkin’.
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And thanks for hangin’ with us! We Midwestern girls love a party!