With the closing ceremony upon us, I can’t help but be sad that the Olympic Games will be over. However, as much as some of us get attached to them, it’s probably best that they’re done for another 2 years. Yet, you know it’s not in me to let them be over without a little Top 10 wake in their honor.
Top 10 Pieces of Importance Surrounding the Olympic Games
9 – Don’t tell me this didn’t help you catch up on your geography lessons for the next time you’re on Jeopardy! We all know that without that lone athlete from that random country in the middle of nowhere that NBC did a story on, we would never even know it existed.
8 – Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight. Get down tonight! Oh yeah, we all loved watching Serena Williams, Misty May Treanor, and MaKayla Maroney break out their moves. Sure, we were all jealous, but it was still fun to watch.
7 – Much like the year of the dragon, the 2012 Olympic Games can now go down in history as the games of tape. We all learned about strategic tape placing. If I didn’t know it wasn’t duck tape, I’d swear that the company could use it in their commercials: You can keep a shitty car bumper on. You can make a wallet. Or you can keep your elbow attached at the Olympics. Duck tape does it all.
6 – It’s our chance to break out our inner high school cheerleaders! Sure, there are only Euro football ala soccer players for you to sleep with in this scenario, but we can still yell real loud for the home team even though we don’t understand the game. (Okay, okay, that may have been a little harsh towards all you former cheerleaders. It’s clearly because I’m jealous that you could wear that short skirt in public.)
5 – Who doesn’t love getting to be the fashion police? Props to Stella McCartney on her Brit fashions. I loved Serena’s Nike tennis dress, and the American men’s sand volleyball team’s argyle. (I’m sure a few of you were partial to the bikinis of the American women’s sand volleyball teams. And in all fairness, I’d kill to have Misty’s ass in those bottoms. Wow. However, I would not appreciate the announcers telling my weight to the world.) Of course, there were plenty of fashion faux pas – I saw more popping packages than I cared to and why must water polo swimsuits go up every woman’s ass? Yikes.
4 – Hello! It’s our excuse to drink in honor of being from the USA! Grab your glasses, cheer at the big screen, and drink up in celebration of our country kicking everybody else’s asses at sports!
3 – We simply needed something else besides blunt cards and “we are what we dream” quotes to post on Facebook.
2 – Face it. We needed the Olympics so we could talk about them around the proverbial ice box at work. You can only talk about Christian Grey and his 50 shades for so long!
Finally, the Olympics are perfect for 1 very important reason:
1 – They are a great distraction from our sad, pathetic lives! Lol. (but it’s kinda true – I like seeing that after 3 tries, Felix got the gold and Michael Phelps could manage 22 medals after half-assing a couple of years of practice – that right there should give us all hope for our futures!)
So there you have it. As the closing ceremonies conclude, the good news is that maybe we’ll actually get our laundry done again or do more than watch races on our computer at work… but don’t kid yourselves, it’s not too early to start chanting Sochi 2014!