It’s only fair that if the girls get a turn, the guys should, too!  So not only is this for all the guys out there, but it’s especially for the girls out there with significant others that maybe need an old man name instead of the pet names we give them like Dumb Ass, Cave Man, Moron Brain, and, of course, Cuddlekins, because they can’t all be Christian Grey and hopefully not Homer Simpson, either. Lol.

Now, you can’t all be fraternity boys, but you can all be Flounders!  So as rush chairman, let me give you your Delta Ki name…

*Stereotypical personality type label your friends would give you that you are willing to admit for the sake of a proper grandpa name

I now pronounce you to be…

Do you willingly admit that you will get called a dirty old man in a matter of a few years (or now)?

Oscar, don’t leave your Maxims on the coffee table, please!

Are you Mr. Outdoorsy guy – hunter, fisher, sportsman, or all of the above?

Hit the road, Gus!

Could it be that you are the epitome of Sports Man – do you eat, breathe, talk sports while couch coaching or taking part in the action (if your knees still allow it – lol)?

If I could be like Ike!

Do you consider yourself to be a simple man with 2 pairs of shoes, an easy chair, and a big screen TV?

Stanley, did you really order pizza again?

Is there any chance that you are the pretty boy with large amounts of product and is sexy and he knows it walking out the door?

Let’s call it Morris gets a Mullet.

Are you the funny one with a joke for every occasion and a smile on your face when somebody bites it on a banana peel?

Barney, don’t make us have to remind you we’re “all one happy fam-i-ly”

Are you the token good guy left – responsible, loving, hard-working, and driving a woody wagon (the family car, not the upright phallic one)?

Good trip, Clark, good trip.

Do you show your artistic side- writer, painter, guitar-player, wood-crafter, candle-stick maker?

Although, you think it’s ironic, you might wanna new t-shirt, Eugene.  Your prom was 18 years ago.

Do they call you when there’s a get-it-fixed, get ‘er done situation?

There’s nobody like handyman Harold to the rescue!

Do you dare to admit you are still a cave man raging against women and new-fangled technology?

Dwayne, let me introduce you to Siri and the 19th Amendment.

Is life a serious game in which you will be #WINNING at your job, at your hobby, and in your perfect yard?

Gilbert, you missed a spot.

Are you known to play Mr. Mom, clean the house, or make supper without using a grill?

Louis, your duck confit is to die for!

Are you the wild man still able to drink everybody under the table, climb a mountain in a snowstorm, or drag-race teenagers?

Burt, you’re one mid-life crisis away from an ex-wife and a convertible.

Do they call you a man of few words, quite happy if no one bothers you so you can just get your job done and head home to the TV and bed?

Just listening is a good plan, because yes, Orville, all women are crazy.

Are you ready to go clubbing, or at least to a drunken golf outing with scantily clad beer wenches?

Oh, Ralph, you’re the life of the party, aren’t you?  Just remember not to live up to your name!

Does the car/truck make the man?

Oh, Stuart, we refuse to say it “porsh-ah”

Are you somewhere between Larry the Cable Guy and Charlie Harper where’s life a joke and the $ keeps a rollin’ in?

Ready to roadtrip to Vegas, Walter?

Are you the Rico Suave type flirting to get a beer, a raise, or a date?

Floyd, keep it in your pants!

Do you identify with Tim the toolman Taylor?

No, Horace, you don’t need a dual exhaust on your Thunderbird.

Is it good to be king of the castle or at least pretend to be when you are surrounded by women at all times?

Our sympathies, Silas.

Does the term “what happens in fight club stays in fight club” reflect your motto on life?

Gordon, there’s this little thing called YouTube.  Hate to tell ya there are no secrets, buddy.

Is Redneck considered a state of mind and a way of life?

Art, we don’t keep PBR on hand.  Sorry.


Okay, boys, you know how this works:  be sure to post your new old man names on my blog and on your facebook page when you share the quiz with your friends!  And ladies, I can’t wait to hear what your husband should have been birthed as!


*Disclaimer:  No men were meant to be insulted in the making of this blog.  However, none should be girly enough to admit they’re offended anyway!