Oh, go ahead and give me that guilty look because you know you love Facebook as much as I do!  You probably wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t!  And it’s okay to admit it, even if you are one of the silent Facebook stalkers that read but don’t comment.  It doesn’t have to be your dirty little guilty pleasure.  It’s not like you have a secret porn addiction (not that we’re judging) or a need to accidently catch people’s lawns on fire with your discarded cigarettes.  There’s nothing wrong with liking Facebook.  I’m loud and I’m proud to admit I am a Facebook junky.  Now, rise up and join me.  Say it with me in true Red Green style:

I’m a Facebooker

I could change. 

If I wanted to. 

But I won’t…

because I’m stubborn… and/or addicted.

It seems to me like being on Facebook has gotten a bad rep, but it hasn’t kept much of anyone off of it.  I have a friend who’s been trying to hold out because she worries that she’ll like it too much.  That’s like not eating ice cream or having sex!  Holy Guacamole!  Guess maybe she has more willpower than the rest of us.  Don’t know about you, but if we’re limiting ourselves to only things we won’t like too much, I think I’ll go ahead and be fat on Dove chocolates and just go down with the Facebook ship!

Okay, so we all know it sucks up too much of our time, but there’s the other side, too.  I just got back from vacation and in an effort to be in the moment, I did no checking of fb.  I basically went unplugged.  But then I came home to immediately delve into the virtual world I’d missed, and it reminded me why I am a Facebook advocate.  There, on my screen, were pictures of chubby cheeked babies born this week, trophy photos showing big toothy grins overshadowed by ball caps, well wishes to people celebrating monumental anniversaries (that are rare in our day and age), and eulogies for loved ones passed away.  I laughed.  I teared up.  I cheered.  I gritted my teeth in anger.  I smiled to myself.  And I wished a bunch of people well.  It was like a verse right out of Ecclesiastes.

Say what you want to about Facebook, but this is the daily news I want to hear.  I watch the morning news only to hear that 15 people were shot, beaten, stabbed, or chased down and they go on trial, die, or they claim they’re innocent of all wrong-doing even though they have 27 arrests on their record.  No thank you.

Give me your trips to Panera for an Asiago bagel

and your vacation photos of smiles and empty margarita glasses.

Give me your tired of the work week posts

and your yearning to be debt-free mass posts.

Call me the statue of statuses, I’ll take them all.

People could argue that there are a million insignificant details shared on fb everyday, but I could argue that those same people are desperately trying to share their lives with us.  And I want that!  I want to know about your lives!  How else would I know that my niece is home sewing bean bags for a game at the county fair?  How else would you know that your best friend in high school that now lives in Alaska had to flush her daughter’s goldfish today but it resurfaced twice like a resurrection before finally exiting the world?  How else would I know that you watched your sister graduate with honors to be the first one in your family to graduate from college?  How else would I know that you are mourning the day your grandpa died because although you can grieve on paper today, you couldn’t put it into words and tell me that aloud?  How else would I then know to bring you a coffee and some Kleenex to get you through your day?

As a writer, I need social media like Facebook and Pinterest.  It’s how I get more readers.  But as a person, it’s how I stay connected to you people that matter to me so much that I want pick up a coffee on your bad day, I want to know where you ate supper last night, who showed up on your doorstep asking you to buy a Kirby, and how you plan to keep the stupid people at bay.  Those are the Hallmark moments we all get for free…

So if you agree, hit the share key and update your status.  (And if you don’t, go back to grumbling at your coffee mug and facebook stalking.  We don’t have time for you anyway…)