Here’s the deal: it’s March 20-something, and it feels more like a pre-summer Indian summer. We’ve all broken out our flip-flops and our cozies with a nervous feeling in the pit of our stomachs wondering if it’s too good to be true. Not one of us is inclined to believe that there will be anything less than some crazy version of hailing nails or a Tasmanian devil tornado. But for now, let’s just live in the moment and be thankful for everyone’s favorite small talk past-time: gorgeous weather!
Here are my top 10 highlights of our good fortune:
10. It’s flower-pickin’ weather! Yes, guys, now’s the time to be cheap and still be thoughtful. Pick the daffodils out of the backyard and earn yourself some beers hand-delivered by your favorite lady for a couple of days.
9. It’s fresh cut lawn weather! Tell me you don’t love the smell of recently mown grass, especially when somebody else mowed and sprayed the dandelions.
8. Hello! It’s umbrella-drink weather! Nothing says warm weather like sitting in a lawn chair with a pastel-colored drink decked out in a mini umbrella and a big ole straw to slurp it down fast!
7. It’s Closet Rotating Weather! Don’t know about you, but I look forward to the bi-annual switching of clothes. Sweaters, corduroys, and fleece to the back. Spaghetti straps, shorts, and sun dresses to the front. Sorry, guys, I know this one doesn’t really apply to most of you. Those 2 pairs of jeans, 2 pairs of khakis, and 2 pairs of shorts probably don’t need relocated to fit all the new stuff in, but let’s face it: you’re more concerned with us getting our thongs and strap-less bras out anyway.
6. This is leg-shaving weather! Normally, that would not be a plus that we girls have to shave more often, but… The weather’s so beautiful that my legs are shaved and no longer pasty, Casper-esque shades of non-color. As you all are well aware, I believe tan fat is always better than white fat.
5. It’s also grilling weather! Grab the burgers, brats, steaks, and don’t forget the wieners! It’s not a party till the wieners come out! (hee, hee) Throw those bad boys on the grill and if Cousin Eddie’s coming over, you better make room for the squirrel, too!
4. It’s walkin’ weather! Walk the dog, literally or figuratively, in the bright sunshine or if you’d rather – walk the cat, the guinea pig on a leash, or your spouse if they could use a weight loss program. This is the one time of the year where exercise actually sounds fun, and I do use that term loosely, but you know what I mean. In mid-December, it’s considered a worst case scenario and by now, you’re just thinking it’s an excuse to spy on the neighbors!
3. It’s Outty weather: work out, lay out, and go out. The 3 outs to happiness, my friends.
2. It’s old-skool ghetto-blaster weather! Yes, my friends, it’s the kind of weather where you break out the stereo, the iPod speakers, or the boom box the size of a dorm fridge and dance, baby, dance! Rascal Flatts, Will Smith, Kid Rock, Kenny Chesney – boys, you bring on those summer nights! Hell, if it means summer’s on the way, you can throw in the Richard Marx for all I care! I love me some endless summer nights!
1. And the number one fantabulous thing about this weather is that it is I’m-Sexy-and-I-know –It-Wiggle-Wiggle-Wiggle-Doin’-It weather! Nothing like the smell of warmth, a light breeze, a big old sun, a couple of cocktails, and exposed, tan flesh to get the motor runnin’…
Embrace the weather , my friends. And perhaps this will be the weekend we all stick to the Nike motto…and I ain’t talkin’ about the Be Like Mike one! Just do it, boys and girls. You have my permission (as long as you’re over 18, not dating an idiot that could involve producing a child, or in a public place where I might have to see it)!