“Damn those crazy drivers on Highway 6!” and
“5am is an unfit time for humans to be awake let alone functioning!”
“Oh, what a beautiful sunrise. I am so thankful I can see it!” and
“I love my husband for picking up the kids today after work, that’s something to be thankful for.”
Somehow, someway, things have completely gone haywire on my facebook updates! How is one supposed to adjust from cussing to glory hallelujahs????
Okay, I know. I’m being completely facetious. Props to all of you who are doing the “I am thankful” challenge. I have mad respect for people who can always find the brighter side to the story. I’m just sayin’ that it’s starting to feel a little like Oprah around here! Next thing I know you all will be carrying your little notebooks around writing happy thoughts! And, quite honestly, I don’t know if the world can take it!
However, I also can’t wait to see the progression from Day 1 to 30. Seems to me everybody started off with their sunshine and roses and happy little comments about spouses and children and parents, but how will it end? I mean, will it start to get hard by the end of the month? Will you be thankful for your car, your teddy bear when you were 4, or disposable diapers? I’m just thinking that with these big grand gestures of thankfulness to begin with, how can you top it each day? And if you can, I think I want your life! Lol.
Of course, I also secretly wonder if there are people out there who are telling the real truth of the matter. I mean, most of the people on my newsfeed who are doing the “thankful” challenge are genuinely nice people who normally have sincere, sweet thoughts, but what about the rest of us? I’m just gonna put it out there that we all are not saintly. I mean, I’m waiting for a couple of my guy friends to just break it out there with:
-I’m thankful for porn.
-I’m thankful for UFC fighting championships. There’s nothing I like better than guys beating the shit out of other guys.
-I’m thankful that even though I’m 35 years old, my mother still does my laundry.
-I’m thankful for beer because it tastes good and it makes me forget all the shitty things in my life so I can have a good time.
-I’m thankful I have my big screen TV so I can watch sports while my wife makes lunch.
-I’m thankful for every girl who let me see her naked, well, except for the 93 year old who flashed me at the nursing home, but we aren’t going to talk about that ever again!
Don’t tell me those aren’t the things most guys are really thankful for. I know they are! And honestly, I’m not much better. Sure I’m thankful for my family, my friends, my job, my house, and my car, but folks, I am damn thankful for my DVR and I am not afraid to admit it! Hell, yeah!
I’m also thankful for shirts that have V-necks but don’t suck to my flab, my blanket that I use to take naps on the couch, and that I don’t have to sit in close proximity to the woman I met yesterday with the big hair and the old lady perfume that people in Texas could probably smell from here. Listen, this is how my world works. Some people may be all lollipops and unicorns, but I am quite content with chocolate chip cookies and cattle. Mine might be a slanted view, but I’ll go out on a limb and bet I won’t be alone out there. So when my facebook post comes up with “I’m thankful for being able to pay other people to dust for me and that on the 8th day God created bacon and my summer vacation” don’t be too surprised when everybody likes my status. I’ll like yours, too, simply because I’m a big fan of being grateful, but don’t think I’m not calling you a goody-goody when you say thank you for your mother-in-law and I promise not to be hateful when you make it to November 30 and all you have left to be thankful for is macaroni and cheese or neon shoestrings.
But look at it this way, you can always admit you’re thankful for porn. Lol.
P.S. – I am very thankful for my loyal readers and my even more loyal readers who share my blog to add to my fan base. Don’t tell anybody, but I’m pretty lucky that I have more than 30 days worth of things to be thankful for.