Okay, I love me a 3 day weekend and if you say you don’t, you’re obviously smoking more crack than Paris Hilton allegedly does or you’re not mentally right, not that I would judge of course. However, on this Labor Day of love, I realized that some people that shall remain nameless are still confusing Memorial Day and Labor Day, which doesn’t make a whole lotta sense to me, but whatever. I’m here to clear up the confusion!
We’re going to start with a lesson in alliteration. M is for May which is when Memorial Day is and for Mourning the loss of loved ones gone before us on that day, especially those that were in the Military. See, doesn’t it feel kinda like an episode of Sesame Street? Unfortunately, Labor Day isn’t in an L month because we don’t have any, but Labor Day is for the Lazy “workin’ man” who needs a day off work so he can Lounge around the house and Look forward to football season.
If alliteration doesn’t work for ya, I, personally, consider Memorial Day to be the gateway to summer, or the Mother of summer. It’s kinda like saying it’s open season on tanning, pooling, and spaghetti straps. (It may also mean I’m off work for a couple months, too. Ha Ha!) Whereas, unfortunately, Labor Day is like the ever-hated Last Call for Alcohol on summertime and is the welcome mat to fall which also means the fear of faux fur collared leopard print vests which apparently will be appropriate this autumn in most labor-intensive workplaces. Yikes!
See, you can think of Memorial Day and Labor Day as the anchors to summer just like you have anchor stores at the mall. Sound-wise, Memorial Day is like Macy’s at one end and Labor Day is like Lord & Taylor at the opposite end. Now, alphabetically it’s backwards, but importance-wise, it’s obvious that Macy’s, the favorite, would come first. Yes, I realize I’ve thought about this a little too much. But what’s your point? Is it that I should just give up trying to explain them and be happy I have them? Okay, I can be down with that. In fact, I’ll see your point and raise you a suggestion or two.
How ‘bout we just find a way to get a few more holidays packed into the American calendar? I’ve said it before – we, as a country, need more holidays. So screw the attempt to explain this day and let’s just campaign for more! Needing suggestions? Oh, I have them, too. I’m thinking we need a Bucket List Friday somewhere in March. March generally sucks, and it desperately needs a 3 day weekend. Why not start Bucket List Friday? Everybody goes out on a Friday to do something off their bucket list. Whether it’s jumping out of a plane or eating sushi, you’d still has 2 days to recover before making another appearance at work. I’m liking it. Or I think I’d be more likely to get people to convert to Hangover Monday. I guess we could call it Victory Monday, but realistically we all know that the Monday after the Super Bowl is Hangover Monday and why not just make it an official holiday since it’s the most-called-in day of the year? Seriously? That would rock.
So maybe you will forever be flummoxed as to which holiday is which, but obviously, at this point, I just don’t care. I’m just here to advocate for more holidays! Call ‘em what you want, I’ll be here on my couch.