Suck face by any other name would sound so sweet.

“Ew!  That is sooo gross!”

 Really?  Explain to me why people are so appalled by PDA (and I’m not talking palm pilots.)  Am I missing something? 

 What’s so wrong with a little kissy face in front of others?  It’s perfectly acceptable when we watch a chick flick at home on a Saturday night.  In fact, we expect it.  We even  talk about how romantic it is.  Yeah, I realize your date is making gagging references behind your back when we discuss what a great movie it is, but come on.   

 Have those same guys just brainwashed all of us into believing it’s ew-y worthy to see in public?  Maybe they get in our heads about it because they don’t want to have to show their feelings in front of others.  It doesn’t exactly scream macho man when guys signal the “I heart you” sign.

 Then again, maybe we don’t like PDA because it’s them and not us.  Maybe we’re just jealous.  As a former single person, I know I was.  I remember often wondering how somebody uglier than me had some guy’s hand on her ass and a ring on her finger.  (Listen, I’m not proud of it, but I’m not above it.)

 Perhaps the most logical theory is that maybe we’re just scared of it.  Maybe we can’t help but wonder if the real-life action we’re viewing will lead to fornication between people that ought not reproduce.  (I’m not gonna lie and say I haven’t thought that one before either.)

 Or are we just a world of haters now?  Is it just easier to hate on things or people than to appreciate them?  Sometimes, I think there’s just so much hate and bitterness these days, that maybe we can’t handle love.  We’d rather sue somebody than admit they have a better haircut or a nicer personality.

 Whatever the reason, I just don’t think it’s that offensive.  At least they aren’t ruining my health like the guy smoking a chimney next to me on the street who can’t seem to buy a shirt large enough to cover his fat, overly white, hairy belly but he has $5 for a pack of smokes.  Don’t even get me started on that!

 So, um… Let me think about it… I can watch somebody touch somebody else’s tonsils with his/her tongue or see some gangster wanna-be putting his/her gun down someone’s throat.  Sorry.  I think that affection beats the hell out of violence on this one.

 You can say I’m taking things to the extreme, but I’m serious.  In the old days, we watched feel-good TV like Love Boat and made-out in cars.  Now, we play Street Fighter and Grand Theft Auto video games and people do drive-bys in their cars.  Mmmm…. 

 It could all be so simple.  Remember when you were a kid and if there was even a rumor you kissed somebody, you got teased incessantly and they broke out the “k-i-s-s-i-n-g” song?  Same principle applies here.

 I’m just saying that if you’re gonna mack on somebody in public that’s fine with me as long as you realize I’m going to point and comment and take a picture of you with my phone and probably call you a trollop of some sort and tell you to get a room.  But as long as you’re okay with that, then I’m okay with you slappin’ some skin up against the hot guy/girl at table 3 for a quick, steamy make-out session.