Okay, I’ve figured it out. I was never much for Tinkerbell or Peter Pan, but that’s what the world needs!
More than anything else (well, with the exception of my husband, I guess), I believe I want fairies at my house. I really never thought I’d say that since I kindof avoid the fem route, and the ones in all those Shakespeare plays often freaked me out, but I’m ready. Send on the good fairies of the world. 911 Clutter Street, please! We’ll leave the light on for ya.
I’ll take a laundry fairy and a dishes fairy. I will most definitely need a dusting and all other cleaning fairy – better send 2 for that, we aren’t the cleanest folk this side of the Mississippi. Probably gonna need an errand fairy, too (and you might wanna make sure he/she likes Wally World – most of our uppity lifestyle comes from there). Yep, that should do it.
I firmly believe I would accomplish miracles with just those mere few fairies there to handle all the inevitable daily grind tasks that surface in my world. I don’t think it’s too much to ask. (Then again, I never do.) Realistically, who knows what I could do for the world if I had a 24/7 fairy staffing???
Listen, we’re just talking a few fairies for specific tasks and minor annoyances. Then, I’ll handle the rest. For instance, it’s not like I asked for a sandwich-making fairy. No, no, I’ll muscle up on that one. I’ll even make my bed. I’ll take care of the phone calls and do my taxes. Heck, I’m such a good sport, I’ll even program the DVR every week, but I’m telling you, I NEED the good fairies.
Besides, everyone else would benefit, too. Just imagine what all I could zip through for everyone else if I wasn’t marred down by the weight of dirty jeans, dust allergens, and the slow old lady stacking up aisle 20 with her 5000 coupons who figures if she has to be at Wal-Mart for 8 hours, so should we.
I’m just sayin’ – throw a girl a bone…or at least one good fairy!
And I tell you what, if I get the hook-up, I’ll do my best to score you one, too! Don’t tell me you wouldn’t be on board????