no ducks were harmed in the making of this photo.
So I’m watching TV this morning as any good slacker would do, and I see that TLC is starting a new show called, Best Funeral Ever. Now, friends, we’ve already chatted about the importance of a proper funeral photo and the inherent need for it, but now, it’s sounding like you might need to plan your own going-away party, too!
I kid you not. The previews show a tribute to a man who helped invent the baby back rib song with dancing rib people, a Dallas Cowboy-themed funeral (obviously one with more faith in Jerry Jones than the rest of us), and a family taking ashes on a carnival ride at the state fair (let’s hear it for state fair goers). Wow!
Welcome to a whole new world! Apparently, Amazing Grace, Kleenex, and some lilies just ain’t gonna cut it anymore. So are they right? I don’t know. What do you think?
I have some qualms with both sides. As a true traditionalist, it feels completely wrong to weed out religious hymns and scripture, and I’m a full believer that tears make the grieving process go a lot faster. However, they played the Beach Boys at my uncle’s funeral and it seemed fitting. And I did love Elizabeth Taylor’s decision to show up at her own funeral fashionably late. Absolutely perfect. I guess I just worry someone might take it too far…as in they might videotape it and send it to TLC! Oh, no, nobody would ever take it too far. (cough, cough)
They might be dancing on our graves by the time we get all said and done and if they do it in a spare rib costume; I won’t be finding the humor in it. So then I have to ponder if all of us will get stuck with the traditional boring funeral only because nobody loved us enough to plan properly. I mean, we can hardly get a brunch scheduled in my family, let alone a funeral! You know what I mean? Are you suddenly having visions of your closet being put on display in the narthex or the YouTube video of you doing a very drunken Macarena dance being shown?
What will they think of next? Let me be the first to say that I think funerals could be the next version of cracking the wedding market. Before you know it, we’ll be having funeral theme planners and invitations to body viewings. We’ll have quotes of the deceased as centerpieces or last words of advice framed and party favors of their favorite candy, cigars, or gum. But here’s an even scarier thought: what if they start doing an instagram slide show where everyone dumps all their iphone photos of you on the laptop as they walk in?
Are you trying to decide if I have a future as a funeral planner or are you more worried of the photos of you popping into your head? Yeah, I know. I wavered between the two thoughts as well, but since I have an in with the funeral home owner, I think I’ll start there. Besides, I better get my requests in for a shorthorn petting zoo and my family to do a flash mob to How Great Thou Art. Oh, and friends who shall remain nameless, those photos of me in braids at Texas Roadhouse better not show up if you don’t want to be haunted. Otherwise, get your shoes on, we’ve got some grave dancin’ to do!
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Got some suggestions for your final parting soiree? Or are you actually going to watch the show? Or are you morally opposed? Let’s hear it. Go on record below.
Eileen Adickes
I’m not going to watch that any more than I would waste time watching Honey BooBoo or Jersey Shore. All of those shows seem disrespectful. The closest I will come to watching TV like that is watching House Hunters on HGTV. These people keep their clothes on, keep their comments clean and have “meltdowns” about closet space and track lighting.
Oh, and Erica, I think you meant to say funeral home owner, not funeral owner.
harrybsanderford
The show is just another argument why TLC’s L should be revoked.I have not seen it or What’ser Boo Boo’s show either for that matter. Still I’m comfortable giving thumbs down reviews.
I don’t much care much one way or the other about a traditional funeral. I have given some thought to epitaphs though. I haven’t really landed on, “the one” and will probably be cremated ot eaten by sharks anyway, but right now I lke the ring of, “Died with a sink full of dishes.”
boltoncarley
freaking LOVE died with dishes in the sink! my mom would love it more! but no being eaten by sharks please! gotta keep you around. remind me to send you a great obit thing. you’re supposed to write a redneck obit in place of the real one. so freaking funny.
Mischa
I am so excited…I’ve been planning my funeral for a long time. I don’t understand why people don’t have a little more fun with it. At my farewell celebration, you’ll be having Dairy Queen and bars….blonde brownies, of course monster bars, hello dolly bars and chocolate brownies too ~ some with walnuts and frosting! The colors are going to be fun colors~ yellow, green and maybe some orange, pink and purple. I think napkins in that color would be a nice touch. And I need to be dressed in cute clothes with my hair just blow dried and fluffed, makeup, but not so much that I look better dead than alive. (That’s just wrong.) I’m hoping for the number 17 to be worked in somehow…whether I die on the 17 or that’s the day of the celebration…I’m fine either way. Since everybody’s always telling me how “special” I am, which I know translates to quirky, weird, crazy….what the heck~ let’s tell stories. End up with a little bit of pinochle and Apples to Apples, maybe some Hawaiian pizza and dancing around to some upbeat music. Nice parting favors would be socks because I love socks and everyone who takes time out of their day to come deserves a soft new pair of socks. Yep, I think that about does it for what I have so far….maybe this is my calling for my next career.
Eileen Adickes
Only you Mischa! I do like the socks thing particularly. I want my funeral to take place at the Grist Mill McCready Theatre. I want folks to do a sing along of show tunes.