Perhaps we all need a lighter note for the weekend, and tis the season… to laugh at the trends. Has anyone else noticed that the stores are full of owls? Owl purses, owl pot holders, owl gloves, and owl cookie jars. Holy owl, Batman! And I’ll admit some of them are freaking cute, but in the back of my mind, all I can think is that if owls are back then mushrooms and macramé can’t be too far behind. And honestly, that thought frightens me! I still remember old lady sweatshirts with mushrooms and a mouse or pillows with mushrooms and grass and don’t even get me started on macramé plant holders!
Besides that, I have to wonder who decided it was the year of the owl. I mean, if I thought that it was supposed to be a subliminal take on promoting a love for hooters, I might understand. But let’s face it, it’s not like fashion is decided by a bunch of straight guys out fishing and daydreaming about ta-tas. It certainly can’t be that!
Of course, I guess the owls aren’t any worse than the moustaches. Then again, maybe that’s the message: hooters and porn ‘staches. I guess they do go together after all. Maybe somebody in the fashion biz is going for ironic. What can we make these people do next? It reminds me of when I worked at a department store that shall remain nameless and we would have contests to see who could put the ugliest outfit on the mannequin and still get it sold. Okay, so I may or may not have been a horrible person at that point, but aren’t you secretly wondering who brainwashed you into thinking that owls and moustaches were cool for 2012? Yeah, my point exactly.
The only good news is that at least we have bacon. Yes, you heard me. Owls, moustaches, and bacon for Christmas. Come to think of it, we have hooters, porn ‘staches, and pigs…mmm…. Maybe everything is starting to make sense after all!
How can we not be excited about our bacon-of-the-month club or our ‘stache on a stick? If those aren’t Hallmark precious moments right there then what are they? At least I know we can all score an owl coin purse, a moustache flask, and a pound of bacon for less than 10 bucks! Plus, use your ‘stache on a stick and nobody will even recognize you when you go in to Dr. John’s to buy those inappropriate Fifty Shades of Grey gifts for your better half. Just sayin’.
But if you’re better than the trends, that’s fine with me, too. I don’t give a “hoot!” lol. Either way, have a ‘stache-tastic holiday!
joe thomas
I thought the owls stood for wisdom. The bacon doesn’t make a good gift for my Jewish friends, but then they don’t celebrate Christmas very much anyhow. The mustaches??
boltoncarley
yeah, let’s go with wisdom!
Veronica Roth
Lol, Bolton! Love it! Good thing I swallowed that mouthful of tea before I got to your wisdom of who doesn’t set fashion trends, fishing and ta tas! So funny. Ok, you may have gotten the ugliest outfit to have sold award and there are a fair bit of owls here in the UK but you should have seen the apparition I saw at the vet yesterday. In full Christmas regalia: Pea green sweater with white sheep all over it, one black sheep on the left boob, scarlet trousers, little shiny black court shoes, a slash of scarlet lipstick and a hair band/hat circlet of beige mink. One trendy wiener dog under her arm and the appropriate carpet bag carrying case with a Santa ornament pinned to it. Oh yes! (My new look?)
boltoncarley
wow! i sure hope you secretly snapped a picture of that! so glad she had the red and green thing going, at least. but throwing sheep in for good measure is just crazy! LOVE it! seriously, you must remember to get footage of that!